Hello and Goodbye

Discussion in 'Speakers‘ Corner' started by _Baragain_, Aug 11, 2019.

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  1. _Baragain_

    _Baragain_ Living Forum Legend

    Hey there, DSO Community. I'm stopping in today to say goodbye... For good this time.

    Some of you noticed that about four weeks ago, I simply disappeared... I even deleted my characters. I hadn't given anyone any sort of warning, so some of you who know me in real life reached out to check on me and see if I was OK. I wanted to say thanks again to you guys for caring enough to check up on me; it meant a lot.

    Now for the "Why." I'm not usually the sort to share about my personal life, so I'm a little out of my comfort zone, but I'm sharing in case there is someone out there who needs to read this and it is able to help them, either now or down the road.

    Long story made short, I have been playing this game for over eight years. And during those eight years, I played almost every day for anywhere between three and six hours a day (or more). Doing the math (you know I can't help myself), a conservative estimate tells me that I've spent over eleven thousand hours in this game, over 480 full days, or, if you consider sleep, the equivalent of more than two years (720+ 16-hour days)... Basically, in the last eight years, I've spent over a quarter of my waking hours in the digital world of Dracania. It wasn't really bad, for the most part. I made lots of friends, and had a lot of fun. Sure, there were times when the developers would do something that would upset me and I would threaten to quit, or life would get super busy and DSO wouldn't get as much attention, but I always came back because of the people and because I enjoyed releasing stress at the end of a long day by killing some monsters.

    That changed about four weeks ago. Four weeks ago my spouse said she wanted to leave me. There were lots of issues that lead up to this, but I could trace many of them back to me not being the kind of father and husband I should have been because I was addicted to Drakensang. What had started out as a little game that I played to release stress had somehow grown and mutated into an addiction that ate up all my spare time, and consumed my thoughts every waking hour when I wasn't playing the game. DSO wasn't the problem; I was. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this game, but I crossed a line and my family suffered because of it. After recognizing this, I realized that I needed to leave this game and never return if I wanted a hope at fixing things. Now, four weeks later, I am delighted to say that I do believe that she and I will make it through and my addiction to this game hasn't permanently ruined my future.

    So, my advice to those who need it, or are willing to listen is this:
    1. Know what is most important to you and never let anything else usurp that.
    2. Games, especially grindy games, are easy to become addicted to. I hope you have more self control than I did so that your harmless fun never turns into a potentially life ruining addiction.
    3. If there comes a time that you realized that you've gotten addicted to anything, gaming or otherwise, cut it out of your life entirely before it can poison the things that matter most to you.

    Thank you all for eight enjoyable years, but now I'm turning the page on a new chapter of my life. I am thankful that I have another chance to get things right with my family; giving up an addiction that had me chasing ones and zeros with no long term meaning is a small price to pay for that chance. I'll stop in a couple times over the next couple days to read and reply in this thread, but otherwise, I'm done with DSO for good.

    To those I leave behind, I wish you all the best in your quests and happy hunting.
  2. Akageshi

    Akageshi Forum Duke

    Dude, I haven't spent nearly as much time in this game as you, yet I too have seriously considered to do the same as you did. Delete the characters, so there is nothing to return to in the game.

    I think if you spend time playing games, they should be the kind that enriches you somehow. Maybe you're looking for inspiration for your own projects, work, whatever it is. Maybe you want to experience games you never had the time or opportunity to play, yet you should, because they are important titles of the gaming history, like some books and movies and songs.

    But Drakensang Online is not that game. Just like most online games. It's a game just to kill spare time. And if you're a big farmer, it kills all your time. This game makes me frustrated and angry every now and then, it also gets boring and the little joy that I get out of it, is not worth the time and effort.

    So, all in all, I absolutely understand your decision.
    Maybe you could've gone the middle path, though. Keeping one character and play just a bit here and there. But perhaps that's something you can't do, because whenever you do something, you dedicate to it fully and you do it 100%. In that case, absolute annihilation of your Drakensang self was the best option.

    To end this post, I want say I'm sorry for being a p...k sometimes, specifically back when I first introduced my crappy damage "calculator" and I acted rather offensively. At that time, I thought you were just one of the know-it-all forum nerds who had nothing better to do than nitpick. I was wrong, and maybe you flushed your RAM since then, but I've always felt bad for it.

    Anyway, I think others will agree with me here if I say you will be missed. For there will be one less man of reason around here - and there are not many anymore.
    Or maybe you may be dead in the game, but not as much on the forum? You still know the game better than 99.9% of its player base :]
    tozagol, megacarlos, navelko and 2 others like this.
  3. ΣMiwel

    ΣMiwel Forum Ambassador

    If you're addicted, you can't.
    You know what addiction therapists say to an alcoholic? You can't have even a wine glass in your home, as that would keep reminding you of your addiction and eventually make you return to drinking.
    This is a different kind of addicition: Returning here and writing a post won't make him return to playing... but playing "a bit" would probably turn into "a lot".

    I suspected that you simply counted that you're losing too much time here... turns out it was a close miss.
    Anyways, what can I say... All good on your new(ly re-found) way of life, Baragain!
  4. Akageshi

    Akageshi Forum Duke

    Ah, you're right. It seems Baragain was really addicted. I'm not sure what my status is, but considering I haven't logged in for 2 days, and for 3 days before that, and right before r220 I refused to log in for 2 months straight, I assume it's not that bad. I think it helps to complain about the game in the forum, which helps me sort out thoughts and realize the elephants in the room - things that should keep me away :]
    tozagol likes this.
  5. Skillmode

    Skillmode Forum Greenhorn

    So basically, if you haven't already, don't get married, and don't have kids. That's the lesson we've all learned here today. :)
    tozagol, piteris2, MikeyMetro and 3 others like this.
  6. Sugar

    Sugar Forum Greenhorn

    How does one say goodbye to a legend? Thank you for touching the lives of those close to you, and we shadow figures that only met you briefly, but appreciate the work put into the game. Be well, and take care of reality. The game will go on. Peace.
    Bubble, IB-BANSHEE and _Baragain_ like this.
  7. _Baragain_

    _Baragain_ Living Forum Legend

    ΣMiwel was 100% correct when he said this:
    That said, I'm not cutting video games out from my life entirely, but any sort of game that is essentially designed to be addictive has to go. I recognize now that i get too invested in the grind too easily. In short, any game that doesn't have a story mode that can be beat in 60 hours or less is probably too dangerous for me to risk it. Also, like the recovering alcoholic, I've got people keeping me accountable in case even that sort of gaming becomes a problem... advice #3.

    It was forgiven and forgotten ages ago. I was always a bit of a perfectionist and had a tendency of holding people to that same standard. It also doesn't help that I'm a little abrasive when I offer "constructive" criticism. :rolleyes:

    That is a method. :D
    Akageshi likes this.
  8. Purgerzg

    Purgerzg Active Author

    Every wife on this planet are the same, trying to change man into some "perfect man"; ofc they don't change anything on themselves (we don't even want it).
    And when wife start to "fix errors on man",she will never ever stop, always finding something…….
    You could spend time/money on bars drinking alcohol, so in this 8 years you could get alcoholic ;)

    So I am also addicted DSO because I play around 3 hours per day?! ( not include afk ).In that time I often make lunch, buy stuff my family need, wash laundry/cars/backyard, spend around 1-2 hours with kids outside the house…..
    And any women spend 2 hour per day on makeup/getting dressed.

    But if you feel that something is not good (in this case DSO), change it.
    If you are satisfied, your family is satisfied also, and that is most important.
    tozagol, Sugar and navelko like this.
  9. Reven26

    Reven26 Forum Greenhorn

    Best of luck to you as well Doc thanks for all the advice and all the help I wish you all the best in the future.

    IB-BANSHEE, _Baragain_ and navelko like this.
  10. sargon234

    sargon234 Commander of the Forum

    Good bye
  11. DamarèRo

    DamarèRo Padavan

    Hello here @_Baragain_ idk you at all (only from here the forum) and what i want to say is it, I have a wife too and sometimes i play to much this game and not only one, in your words i can find myself very good. Is hard to give up when you like somthing but real life is no.1 do not forgot this and not only you, all who read this...
    I wish you all the luck in the world to remake your life or what you want, good luck big bro!!
    IB-BANSHEE, _Baragain_ and navelko like this.

    IB-BANSHEE Forum Apprentice

    Doc H! Thank you so much for posting and letting us all know you are first and foremost...OK! You have many friends on this game who were truly worried about you! Me being one of them! You will be sorely missed by me for one, BUT...I totally understand! FAMILY always must come first, in that we are in total agreement. I wish you and your family the best, now and always! I want to thank you for all your input, advice, and for your friendship. Farewell, and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous Life to you and Yours! (I will be placing you in the Hall of Great Guildy Fame! You will NOT be forgotten)! IB-BANSHEE!
    _Baragain_ and navelko like this.
  13. Sunlight

    Sunlight User

    Hey there @_Baragain_ ,

    Thank you a lot for your message! :)
    I probably shouldn't be answering this kind of thread as a moderator, but I feel I have to thank you for your big support in this forum and this community. I can fully understand your arguments and, of course, there is nothing else I can do but support.

    For this and for everything, my acknowledgment for everything you have done for our forum and community and thanks for teaching me a lot of things, mainly maths :)

    I wish the best for you and I'm sure the best time of your life is yet to come :)
  14. Aramisa

    Aramisa Forum Greenhorn

    Heya Doc. Ty for your message! We were all worried about you! Gonna miss your advice and doing runs with you, but family is number 1. Wishing you and your family the best of luck =) HM
    IB-BANSHEE, navelko and _Baragain_ like this.
  15. yeomanry

    yeomanry Advanced

    Bye Barney.

    APA-DSM/WHO-ISD has considered gaming addiction as a mental disorder. It's as dangerous, if not as detrimental as alcoholism or substance abuse. I hope you'll recover from this mate. If you truly want to turn in a new leaf, throw it all away, not only DSO but every gaming-related accessories. ALL OF THE BLOODY GAMES YOU HAVE. Throw them all away and never look back. You don't want any of those siphoning the life out of your kids or anyone else, the same way it did to you.

    If you truly want your life, neigh- your wife back, your family back; you'll turn your back on DSO and the rest. You can't choose one over the other. You know this very well. Will you rather live the rest of your life with your lovely wife and kids or on virtual friends on a virtual world? Would you rather have the touch of your significant other or the false sense of achievement you have obtained in the world of dracania?

    Think this through mate. Give up gaming (and DSO) else you'll resent it in your deathbed. Break a leg, mate. The game and forum will miss you for sure.
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2019
    AndJustice4All likes this.
  16. gbit

    gbit Forum General

    I only know you through your posts and your discussions, but you (and some others) have taught me to enjoy some aspects of the game (mathematical aspects, of course); for this you have always had my respect, and after reading your post this respect has increased.
    I would just like to say a few things.
    First: I think everyone will miss you.
    second: as someone who fought and won an addiction (long ago, long before DSO) I can tell you that you made the right decision and in the best way.

    goodbye and good luck.
  17. Phyrix

    Phyrix Count Count

    You will be missed 10 000 fold all over Dracania.
    Yes addiction is bad, but it just shows how amazing this game actually is, very few games has the ability to do this to a player.
    Admittedly I am addicted to dso, over these years though I have grown less addicted, which is not a bad thing so to speak.
    Your input and advice holds ground in so many, many aspects of this game you are a true legend and I truly wish you all the best in life ahead.
    _Baragain_, IB-BANSHEE and navelko like this.
  18. MaxDisappointed

    MaxDisappointed Forum Master

    And yet some friends of an addict are calling "no-lifers" to those who expose different arguments on this forum.
    I would never have seen those same words referring to a certain person.
    Bye Baragain.
  19. faith_no_more

    faith_no_more Forum Greenhorn

    Farewell guru.

    I highly apreciated your posts and i wish u best luck. In my opinion you dont lose nothing with this decision, because game is already dead, and last releases seems to prove that devs wants that players to quit game, in order they shut down game for good.

    May the good thoughts of all your fans to be with you.
  20. wolfie54

    wolfie54 Active Author

    Where do I begin? 1st and foremost, it is truly good to know you are ok! Some of your post touches very close to home for me on my own personal level. You demonstrate great courage in announcing why you have left this game behind and I wish only the best for you! Will you be missed by the community, sure you will. Your voice of reason was and will be forever of great value for gamers here.
    You point out so well what I have struggled with for some time (and am happy to say have finally gotten the upper hand on). My situation on the surface appears to be quite different from yours as I'm retired, but the underlying truth is quite similar. I played many hours a day and came to realize that my wife was missing me more than when I worked! Long story short, my playing time has been greatly reduced and my focus is once again on the one person I wish not to be without. I learned a valuable lesson that at the end of the day, this is just a game and it should never be a replacement for what is most important which is the life you live with others.
    Again, thank you for caring enough to post. I'll miss you in game (though we never ran together, but did share some posts about my 1h DK build). Live life to its fullest and be well Baragain! Farewell to a true living legend of the game!

    Last edited: Aug 13, 2019